I have been struggling with positive body image for years and i believe that i still am. It’s a journey that i am currently on, with hits and misses everywhere. Last sunday, i decided to cut my hair short again. 
One of the things that i held on since i was a kid was my hair.
Growing up in a society where long hair is an attribute of beauty. Which it is. But i held onto it like a security blanket. I grew my hair, thinking it will hide who i really am. 
Being free of it fills me with this sense of accomplishment.
You look at me.
This is me. Just this tuft of hair. It makes people look at my face, which terrified me before. And still does sometimes.
But i keep my head up.
Cheers to facing fears and acceptance ~*

I have been struggling with positive body image for years and i believe that i still am. It’s a journey that i am currently on, with hits and misses everywhere. Last sunday, i decided to cut my hair short again.
One of the things that i held on since i was a kid was my hair.
Growing up in a society where long hair is an attribute of beauty. Which it is. But i held onto it like a security blanket. I grew my hair, thinking it will hide who i really am.
Being free of it fills me with this sense of accomplishment.
You look at me.
This is me. Just this tuft of hair. It makes people look at my face, which terrified me before. And still does sometimes.
But i keep my head up.
Cheers to facing fears and acceptance ~*

old wounds leave scars,
Memories that is better forgotten.
They made me stronger, but going back just makes it a hell lot harder for me.
I hope i would get to a point that i genuinely don’t give a fuck about the opinion of other people.
Other, meaning those who do not know me and are not on my close circle of friends anyway.
I think,
The trauma of just all the negative words being thrown at you,
The psychologic shit that hits you. Making you think that you are not good enough.
I have struggled with self acceptance and positive body image for so long.
There are good days,
And i know there will be bad days.
I think, i will never be completely healed.
But its a matter of choosing to cope.
Choosing to move on and recover. That is the difference from jumping off the cliff and being done with it all.
Now, I would say i am much much better.
There are slips and stumbles along the way but I always choose me.
I guess it all comes down to believing that all i have is myself. No one is gonna help me.
No one is gonna clean my shit for me.
I have a very loving group of people around me,
But personally, i prefer to not depend on anyone.
I stand up and be awesome again.
Here is to hoping that the choice stays everyday.
Here is to acceptance.

Chai tea latte and Reads. 😍😍😍

Chai tea latte and Reads. 😍😍😍

Red lippy all day everyday ❀️❀️❀️ Not gonna get tired. It’s my color.

Red lippy all day everyday ❀️❀️❀️ Not gonna get tired. It’s my color.

Serious headache going on but still have to put my game face on. Sunday! Here we go! <3 

Lately, i’ve been struggling with physical weakness and ofcourse, i have myself to blame. I know i should rest more, and i just recovered from feverish days weeks ago and i am not ready to go back to my unhealthy ways. Like skipping meals before work, it makes my head fuckin spin. I can still pull off the 24hrs awake stuff. But i think i should stay on the down low for like a month. Allow my body to rest and recharge so i will have fresh energy come the ber months.

Plus. Temper issues. That desire to want to be more positive and all sunshine and shit is such a struggle. I have so many things to be thankful for, but being a chronic pessimist for what seems like forever is proving to be such a challenge. I know it is a journey, to accept that the world is not against me and to be thankful. I have an amazing family. The people i work with are great friends too. My job, though stressful, is something that i have mastered. I can provide for myself. I have a very loving other half. These things. Sometimes i just stop and am in wonder. 
But. Thing is, i will always want more. Specifically, ” career growth” in terms of, i want to be financially stable and make a living doing the things i love.
I know it will take time and i just have to be patient. I just have to trust , that everything will lead me to the best place.

Serious headache going on but still have to put my game face on. Sunday! Here we go! <3 

Lately, i’ve been struggling with physical weakness and ofcourse, i have myself to blame. I know i should rest more, and i just recovered from feverish days weeks ago and i am not ready to go back to my unhealthy ways. Like skipping meals before work, it makes my head fuckin spin. I can still pull off the 24hrs awake stuff. But i think i should stay on the down low for like a month. Allow my body to rest and recharge so i will have fresh energy come the ber months.

Plus. Temper issues. That desire to want to be more positive and all sunshine and shit is such a struggle. I have so many things to be thankful for, but being a chronic pessimist for what seems like forever is proving to be such a challenge. I know it is a journey, to accept that the world is not against me and to be thankful. I have an amazing family. The people i work with are great friends too. My job, though stressful, is something that i have mastered. I can provide for myself. I have a very loving other half. These things. Sometimes i just stop and am in wonder.
But. Thing is, i will always want more. Specifically, ” career growth” in terms of, i want to be financially stable and make a living doing the things i love.
I know it will take time and i just have to be patient. I just have to trust , that everything will lead me to the best place.